UPS is run by 5-year-olds who's parents are first-cousins...

Today, I'd like to bitch about UPS. Here's I go...

UPS is run by 5-year-olds who's parents are first-cousins. Let me clarify. I tried to send a package with UPS to a friend for his birthday. Seems pretty simple. UPS is in the business of sending packages. So you'd think that would be the end of the story right there. But, oh contraire. These incompetent clowns couldn't pull it off within a month's time. Seriously.

In late February they picked up my package. It got all the way to Philadelphia where it was destined to be delivered. One morning in Philly, they packed the box on the truck, went out for delivery, and then, POOF, the package disappeared. The status of the package stayed at "Out for delivery" for over a week. And they never felt it was important to investigate the fact that the package has been out on a truck for delivery for an entire week or contact me about it.

So after I contacted them, they further "investigated" the situation for 2 weeks. Apparently, their crack-team of investigators came up empty handed. So then they told me that I now have to file a claim (regardless of the fact that the package was already insured for $100). So, I now have to do more work to rectify their mistake. And filing a claim for compensation of goods is not a 2 minute process. Took more like 30 minutes each time. I had to file the claim, not once, not twice, but thrice.

First, they claimed I didn't provide enough information (though I provided everything they asked for). Next time, they lost the claim (they're doing a real nice job of keeping track of stuff, eh). Finally, they told me if I didn't refile my claim for a third time by the following day, that I was S.O.L. and they didn't care about my business or their screw-up anymore. Nice customer service.

On this final day, I faxed them my claim once again. A few hours later they called me to tell me that my package has magically reappeared in one of their warehouses. And apparently, they were incapable of reading the shipping label to identify it and had to cut the package open, remove all of its contents, and then describe them to me over the phone to ensure that it was definitely mine. They then asked me if I would like them to wrap it back up and send it on its way to arrive to my friend in a few days. I declined reminding them that I'd sent this package out in late February, and it was now late May, and I'm quite finished depending on them to do their job(s). Additionally, I will never be using their services again.

To make it up to me, they offered to mail the package back to me, free of charge, and it would arrive to me in about 10 business days. Ok, I refrained from swearing in this whole rant, but that shit ends now...

10 FUCKING DAYS?! You assholes send packages for a living and you fucked this one up beyond all belief and the best you can do is get it back to me in 10 days? You fucking shit stains!

After spending several more minutes convincing them how hard they suck, they finally agreed that they suck pretty badly. I could hear the gerbil in this bitch's head running overtime trying to figure out a way to appease me in some way. And so it finally dawned on her that they could overnight it back to me (since they do run a shipping company). So I says, great, I says. And that was the end of the fiasco. Or so I thought...

They never offered me any free shipping vouchers, monetary compensation for my lost time, effort, nerves, etc. Nothing. They just mailed the package back to me so that I can now use a different company to get the job done. Well done UPS, well done!

Now here's some more dirt on these retards. The company that my x-girlfriend works for, uses all the major shipping companies (UPS, FedEx, & DHL) on a regular basis to send time-sensitive chemicals to their customers. In the last month, UPS has lost 3 of their shipments. And countless shipments over the years. The most recent one was worth $2600. And they've provided no acceptable excuses for their incompetence. It's just that they're incompetent. FedEx and DHL on the other hand, haven't lost a single package in the history that this company has been using them (24 years). The one time that FedEx didn't get a package to one of their customers in time, FedEx gave them their money back, paid the insurance claim, and gave them free shipping vouchers.

I'm starting to think that UPS may have possibly put monkeys in charge of their operations to save money in these harsh economic times. That's the best excuse I can think of for these dick holes.

So, in summation, UPS should rename its company to FUCKUPS. That name is far more suiting. They've lost a lifetime of business from me, and hopefully anyone who reads this. Piss up a rope and feel the pissy dribble you cocks.